No matter where you are

No Matter Where You Are
I will stand by you
Even when we fall
I will be the rock, that holds you up
and lifts you high so you stand tall
I won’t let you go
No one can take your place
a couple fights & lonely nights
Don’t make it right to let it go to waste
I won’t let you fall
I won’t let you go
No matter where you are
No matter where you are, I’ll be there
I will hold on to
Everything we’ve got
A quitter, a regretter, and forgetter is
Everything I’m not
I’ll take care of you
and love you just because
You and I are better than forever
Nothing can stop us
I won’t let you fall
I won’t let you go
No matter where you are
No matter where you are, I’ll be there
We can be the generation
Who learns how to love
Mistakes & empty promises
Will never be enough
To tear apart the giant hearts
that beat inside us now
Let’s conquer the percentages
and rise above the crowd
I won’t let you fall
I won’t let you go
No matter where you are
No matter where you are, I’ll be there
No matter where you are
No matter where you are I’ll be [x2]
I’ll be there I’ll be there
Songwriters: Carissa Alvarado / Michael Alvarado
No Matter Where You Are lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Bulaklak na araw

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Mahal kong bulaklak na araw, sa paglipas ng init at ulan.
Patuloy kang lumalago at namumukadkad.
Gumaganda at nabibighani ang mga bubuyog sa iyong puring kaakit-akit.
Wag mong limutin, na ako’y isang kaibigang nagmamahal sayo.

Nang minsan sa hiram na buhay natin, tayo’y nagkasama;
Kahit na ako’y pataba lamang sa lupang iyong tinubuan.
Katabi ng mga uod at putik; kasakangkapan, sa iyong pamumukadkad.
Masaya ako na paunti-unti ay nagkakaroon ka ng saysay sa mundong ito.

Hindi man ako kagandahan, at madumi man sa tingin ng nakararami;
Sana’y malaman mo, na nandito pa rin ako, sayo’y nakaagapay.
At kung ikaw man ay pitasin at kunin ng mga kamay ng Prinsipeng araw;
Kahit ako’y iyong nilisan, magiging masaya ako para sa inyo.

At sa paglipas ng panahon. Kung ikaw man ay mangulubot.
Mawalan ng magandang kulay, at biglang manuyo;
Wag mong limutin, na ako’y nakaabang lamang sa mga binhi,
Na itatanim at didiligan ng isang masipag na palad.

Hihintayin ko muli ang iyong pag-laki at pag-lago.
Wag mangamba. Wag malungkot. Ika’y mamumukadkad muli.
Pagmamasdan ng mga bubuyog, ng prinsipeng araw at tagatanim,
ang iyong magagandang alulot na tila’y sumasayaw sa ihip ng hangin.

– Mangarap (Jaenara Bitao)

Gusto ko pong maging masipag

Lord, forgive my complacency with no sense of urgency. I wasted a lot of time. I’m sorry. Help me value my time. Please help me become a smart hard working person.

Give me focus and direction please. Ang tamad ko at ang taba ko pa. Help me God.

I know I’ve been a fool. But I pray for wisdom and patience and perseverance to do the things that I must do. Help me invest well. This I ask. Amen.

Mahal kong kaibigan

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Nabighani mo ako sayong kagandahan.
Nabiyayaan ka. Gusto ka ng mga magulang niya.
Gusto mo siya. At malamang sa malamang gusto ka na rin niya.
In denial lang siya. Baka hindi mo alam.

Hindi ka nagsasalita masyado. Mapili ka sa mga kaibigan.
Maraming nagmamahal sayo. Kahit na hindi ka naging honor student.
Mahinhin ka. Marunong mag-bake. May green thumb.
Lahat ng itinatanim mong bulaklak, lumalago.

Kahit na hindi ka ganun katangkad. Marunong kang magtimpi sa mga saloobin. Lagi kang nag-jojournal. Nagdadasal.
Laking simbahan ka. Mahal ka ng mga kamag-anak niya.

Hindi ko na sana sinabi ang saloobin ko sa Prinsipe. Eh di sana, pinapansin mo pa rin ako. Magkaibigan pa sana tayo. Tandaan mo na, minsan sa buhay nating dalawa. Tayo ay nagkasama. Tinuruan mo pa nga ako ng tennis. Diba?

Hindi ako nakikipagtunggali sa kakayahan mo, dahil alam kong sa simula pa lamang, talo na agad ako sa pag-asam ng kung anong kagandahan meron ka. Inalagaan mo ang iyong puri. At alam kong, hinihintay mo siya. Sa kanyang paguwi.

Alam ko na gusto mo siya o baka mas higit pa doon ang nararamdaman mo. Mahal mo na ba siya? Sasabihin ko sayo, na malamang ay gusto ka na rin niya. Mis kita mahal kong kaibigan. Wag mo sana akong kalimutan, na minsan tayo ay naging tunay na magkaibigan.

  • Mangarap (Jaenara Bitao)

Thinking of changing my domain name

I’ve been through a lot. I don’t think my domain name: victoriousprincess fits me at all. I’m just an ordinary girl who lost her friends because of her own mistakes along this journey called life. Recently, I’m no magazine-model-kind-of-girl anymore because of my weight that doesn’t range in between the normal body mass index. I’ve lost my drive and motivation somewhere in time. Struggling to feel that I belong somewhere I’m not accepted. I thought I was part of that place. But it turned out that I’m not. So this is how being ignored feels like. I’m like an invisible person, not liked by many, not given any attention, and not loved? I was hurt in the end because of my own doing. I felt like everything that I’ve done was a waste. My time and my efforts, that could never ever be returned. Sorry, but am I not allowed to feel these things? Don’t make me feel guilty because I’m someone just like everybody else with feelings.

It all started because of envy, which I should not have felt in the first place. But I still did. Somewhere deep in my heart, It created a hole and it grew, consuming me entirely. I got jealous of their numbers and I felt that strong desire of being with them. And so, I fell. I was happily living my life back then, with so much fun and ambition. I had my dreams aligned. Ready to get everything done after I graduated. But sad circumstances came. I got deeply wounded. I got my two well functioning legs and feet. But I felt crippled by an event that could have been prevented but was still allowed to happen by some great force. Who’s to blame? I got no one to blame. I’m a weak person. I’m emotional. The truth is, I’m a fool to have believed that I was an intelligent/ smart girl because of my academic achievements in high school and in college. But are high grades the basis to be called smart or wise? I beg you. Please tell me.

Maybe, he’s right all along. My foolishness cannot be compared to anyone. I was stupidly foolish for falling. And that was the stupidest thing that I have ever done in my whole life. Confessing my feelings to him, which destroyed everything that I worked hard for. Am I considered wayward due to that instance? I guess I am. Is it not normal for girls to be attracted to someone? I wish he told me those lines in a gentle manner. I might have been spared from this catastrophe. It was painful for me because he was important. He was someone I admired. But sadly, I was pierced to my very core, my psyche, my mind, my heart, my whole being, my whole self. No. No. We’re not even lovers. No. I never slept in his bed nor even him in my own bed. But why was I affected too much? We never kissed. We never hugged. We never interlaced our fingers with each other’s fingers. So, what’s the fuss? The truth is, I’m no princess. I’m in rags. An ugly beggar in sack cloth. Save me from this shame that incapacitated me. I’m like a parched land. I hunger. I thirst. Possibly but not certainly, the reason why I got hurt was because words are valuable to me. I was not prepared for the loss: my radiance, my joy, my warmth, and my self that I worked so hard to build through all these years. I’m just a poor girl. Pardon me for my foolishness and my failures. I felt jealous, felt envious, and desired someone else’s place. I felt like I’ve stolen something that was never even mine to begin with. Spare me from this guilt. The truth is, I’m no pure woman. I’d be lying if I say so. In addition, I got no house of my own. I got no car. I got no savings. I’m unemployed. I’m a nobody. I got no money.

Will I ever become an inspiration for anyone? My life is chaotic and messy. Please, I don’t want to lose my heart because of all this pain. I don’t want to be a cold stone. Call me crazy. Call me desperate. Call me a fool for chasing after a guy. Call me whatever you like. But I will stand up again. And I might fall again. A never ending cycle. What do you think of me? God, please catch me.