Doppelganger

I left home today after I had lunch with my sibling. Then, I rode the tricycle from Xevera, Neo Calapan. The fare was P10 from the house up to Roxas road. Then, another 10 pesos up to any place of destination inside the city proper for a total of 20 pesos. I went to BPI bank today to check my account balance in my ATM card. I withdrawn money of about 1000 pesos.

Then, I went to my mother’s office with my brown shoulder bag, a maroon umbrella while holding a MSA NMAT practice test for Chemistry. I am wearing a blue dress with wine red heels, a wristwatch on my left hand, a pony tail on my right hand and my hair was in a bun with a clamp.

After I greeted my mother, I told her that I would review for NMAT again, because I haven’t really reached the score that I need to be qualified to a certain medical school in Manila. And since I don’t have any pencil with me, I went to a mall, beside my mother’s clinic to buy a pencil.

I went inside the mall. The escalator was not working. It was stagnant and in place. I went upstairs traversing the escalator up to the 2nd floor. Then, I went to shop items at the department where I stood. I took a walk and placed the following inside my cart: Cattleya filler no. 02, A4 plastic envelope, mechanical pencil with 12 leads, ID card holder, rubber stamp for assignment, excellent, fair and practice writing; standard push pin box with 50 pins, 5 card rings, a dust free eraser, drawstring pouch, a printer envelope short and a stick-ee tissue tape.

While I was walking around, I decided to go inside the Zaza store. It has a cashier inside and they have beauty and wellness products. I added these items inside the cart: colgate plax fresh tea 60ml, baby bench bubblegum 50ml, manicure set, color scrub, cleene absorbent cotton, Nivea sun protect lotion SPF 50 75ml, Giggles baby wipes, and a Carrie pure acetone 60ml, plus an Oreo original mini of 23g.

A few minutes after I had all the items in my cart, It’s already time for me to pay for the things I got. I decided to pay via debit from my BPI Expressteller card. But, the cashier inside Zaza does not have the machine for the ATM card. And so, I handed out my ATM card from my wallet to the cashier who was wearing a red dress.

What she did was she called the attention of the lady from another cashier having the same colored red dress too, because they have the swiping machine for the ATM. This two cashiers are located of about 20 foot steps away from each other.

I was standing inside the Zaza store cashier (A) waiting for the mini machine to be transfered from Cashier (B). I asked the lady in red, “Shall I go to Cashier (B) to press my pincode? Or shall I wait here?”. The cashier (A) replied, “Yes, you may opt to go to cashier (B) instead.”

And so, I went to Cashier (B), while my items shopped were at Zaza. Not long before I reached cashier (B), I saw it’s lady cashier responsible for the ATM machine, running towards Zaza store. I was startled. She came back walking to where I was standing. She told me that I already placed my pin code in the machine, where in fact I did not remember placing my pin code in the swiping machine!

To cut the long story short, I did not see her swipe my ATM card and we had an argument together with her supervisor that I already placed my pin code on the swiping machine, and that my items are already paid. Where in fact I did not type my pin code. Seriously. The supervisor wearing a yellow polo shirt had goosebumps. How can I be in two places at the same time? How can I type my pin code, if I haven’t even touched the machine. The lady cashier told me, that she was affirmatively sure that I was the one who typed the pin code.

So what happened was, I was in fury. I reprimanded the cashier, and that next time, she should swipe the card immediately after the customer handed his/her ATM card from the wallet, without delay to avoid this kind of arguments.

Furthermore, there was an observant buyer who saw the angry me while talking to the cashier. She sided with the cashier not knowing the whole story and my side. And so, she got in trouble by stating her opinion.. I told this observant to quit minding other people’s business and just focus on her own. I ended up leaving the cashier with my PRC license ID, so as to check if my remaining balance in the ATM card was really deducted. I walked via J.P.Rizal street from Citimart to BPI bank.

And true enough, my remaining balance had a deduction of 1,128.70 pesos. But, who placed my pin code in the swiping machine?! Was it really me? Am I that forgetful? Does my mind plays tricks on me too?

The moral of the story: If you will review and study, make sure you have a pencil with you before leaving your house.

I’m tired playing this mind games

I’m tired playing this mind games,

Doing this and that, for what purpose, I know not;

Who are you? Tell me the real you,

No pretensions, no sugarcoating.

Tell me who you are,

Are you ready to be vulnerable?

In the midst of the people surrounding you,

they’re quite numerous to count..

But who are you, when no one’s watching..

Are you still the same sanguine?

Or are you the soft-heart one..

The kind, and loving, yet strong but assertive?

The smart-thinking and reserved?

The light reflecting the sun and the moon in the dark,

Or are you the wind beneath my wings?

Ready to stretch your arms before I fall towards your gravity,

Do you ever think of me, like how I watch over you,

But worry not, I won’t force myself to you..

I will not.. But I can be your friend, if that’s all there is,

If your heart belongs to someone else,

I would gladly accept my fate..

You and I in this world full of tears and joy,

You and I, as friends…

You are a treasure,

yet to be discovered, by any pirate in the seven seas,

But I’m blessed because I had the strength to communicate with the real you..

Though I’m not sure my stand per your view,

I will treasure this friendship until my last breath.

~ JAEAWRITES (2018)

Wonder by Stephen Chbosky (2017)

When I was on my trip back to Manila, from Calapan a few weeks ago. I rode the Supercat by ‘To Go Travel’. The movie that was played on that day was “Wonder” directed by Stephen Chbosky, based from the book of the same name by RJ Palacio.

This story is about a ten-year-old boy, named August Pullman suffering from severe birth defects, including mandibulo-facial dysostosis and a cleft palate, which have left him vulnerable to other people’s perception of him and low self esteem. His parents then decided to enroll him at Beecher Prep after years of homeschooling him.

Mandibulo-facial dysostosis, also known as Treacher Collins Syndrome is a rare disease characterized by underdeveloped facial bones and a very small lower jaw and chin, called Micrognathia; based from UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital.

While the Cleft Palate is a birth defect that results when the roof of the mouth, called the palate fails to form completely during early fetal development. This causes a gap, called a cleft, in the palate. Babies with a cleft palate usually must be bottle fed, with breast milk or formula, using special nipples. Surgery to repair the cleft is performed of about 10 months of age or when the child begins to make sounds of speech. Most children will also need orthodontic treatment with braces during early adolescence as based from University of California.

This child named August was the youngest son of Mr and Mrs Pullman. He also had a sister named Via and a dog named Daisy. When he entered the Prep school, he obviously experienced bullying and he was being stared at by most of his peers, due to his deformity. But since he was home schooled by his mom, he had an edge with the science subject. He loves Star wars, and he also had this astronaut like helmet to hide his face every time he wants whenever his outside the house or inside his home, but not inside the school premises. But what I love about him is that he loves Halloween more than Christmas, because that’s where he can be himself by wearing costumes during the trick or treat. Moreover, he later on discovered his true friends who supported him in his school.

All kids have fears. But some kids worry a lot more than others. It’s always painful to watch a child suffer from anxiety, but it’s especially difficult if you’re not sure whether he’s worrying too much or might need help. The difference between normal worry and an anxiety disorder is severity. Although feeling anxious is a natural reaction to a stressful or dangerous situation, a child may need help if his anxiety is out of proportion, if it persists or if it interferes with his life and development.

For a 10 year old kid, his fears are mostly the following: fear of throwing up at school, fear of being rejected by his peers, fear of school failure, fear of sickness, fear of being home alone, fear of bad guys and ghosts and fear of dying.

 

 

I don’t wanna wait

Aicelle Santos – I Don’t Wanna Wait

Lyrics:
So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for right
You know that if we are to stay alive
Then see the peace in every eye…
doo doo doo doo do doo do do
do doo doo doo doo dooo doo ooh
She had two babies, one was six months,
one was three In the war of ’44…
Every telephone ring, every heartbeat stinging
When she thought it was God calling her
Oh, would her son grow to know his father?
[CHORUS:]
I don’t want to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now, what will it be?
I don’t want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be…sorry?
doo doo oooh doo ooh do do ooh
He showed up all wet on the rainy front step
Wearing shrapnel in his skin
And the war he saw lives inside him still,
It’s so hard to be gentle and warm
The years pass by and now he has granddaughters
[CHORUS]
You look at me from across the room
You’re wearing your anguish again
Believe me I know the feeling
It sucks you into the jaws of anger(oooooooh)
So breathe a little more deeply my love
All we have is this very moment
And I don’t want to do what his father,
And his father, and his father did,
I want to be here now
So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for right
You know that if we are to stay alive,
And see the peace in every eye…
[CHORUS x2]
doo doo doo dooo oooh
do dooo doo doo doo doo dooo
do doooo oooh doo doo doo do dooo do do
So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for right
You know that if we are to stay alive
Then see the love in every eye…
I love how the artist named Aicelle sang this song. Her voice is raspy and very warm to hear. It’s not so diva like voice. I realized that it’s possible to sing a song without shouting or hitting the very high notes to shiver some timbers. Her voice hits the low notes but still hits the other notes correctly. I’m not sure on what key the song was played but I like it. I wanna perform this song someday too. I will study this. 🙂 I want to watch her sing in person someday.. I’m already a fan. This song inspired me this week by the way, despite my struggles.. because adulting is hard. Sooo hard.
Can I just go back to the time where I was just a kid? Where my problems are just to eat on time, do my assignments and sleep early so I can rise up early, and where the things I play are just paper and barbie dolls, pico, chinese garter and luksong baka at tinik and other childish games..

Haunted Hospital (Baler 2017)

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Conjuring 2 movie of the night at Costa Pacifica

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Sabang Hospital: Haunted Hospital ( Costa Pacifica)

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Photo with co-passengers to Baler

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Lunch with Epi, Riza, Charlene and Ashley

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Haunted Hospital Tickets at Costa Pacifica Hotel, Baler 2017

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with an engaged couple

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Ditumabo Mother falls adventure with the gals at San Luis, Maria Aurora

Bigla na lang pumasok sa isip ko na gusto ko palang magsulat ng horror stories, kakayanin ko kaya? Kahit maikling kuwento lang.

Kasi, sobrang underrated ang mga horror stories daw ngayon.. Hindi na nga masyadong takot ang mga bata sa mga multo, aswang o nuno sa punso, mga manananggal, diwata, kapre o mga malignong laging nakatingin sayo, kahit san ka pumunta, mapasa-ilaw man yan o sa dilim.

Isang araw, habang nagduduty ako sa ospital, tinanong ko yung senior nurse ko. Anong horror movie ang talagang natakot siya.. Ang sabi niya.. Japanese horror movies daw talaga yung pinakanakakatakot niyang napanuod. Well, maski ako.. kabado din sa horror movies ng Japan. Marami silang pinaghuhugutan.

Isang araw din nang ako ay nagbakasyon ng magisa papuntang Baler, may nakilala akong mga bagong kaibigan sa loob ng van, apat sila. Sila Riza, Epi, Ashley and Charlene. Kasabay ko silang kumain ng almusal bago lumangoy sa falls ng Maria Aurora, pero hindi ko nakasama lumangoy sa dagat, nauna kasi akong nagising, nagsurf ako ng ako lang magisa, pero may nagturo naman.. Mahirap pala magsurf, lalo na kung mahirap ang balancing skills mo. Tulad ko, since medyo chubby ako at baguhan pa lamang sa surfing, ang hirap magbalance. Ilang beses akong sumubsob sa alon ng dagat. Pero, may nakilala din akong ibang friends na kasabay ko rin lumangoy sa dagat, magsyota din.. pero girl and boy, engaged couple, tapos yung iba mga dayo din at mga locals.

Yung apat na bago kong nakilalang friends, sina Riza, Ash, Charlene and Epi.. natulog kami sa isang kwarto. Nasa double deck silang apat, ako nasa lapag, but don’t worry may kutsyon naman. Bago kami natulog, pumunta kami sa isang haunted hospital, sa may Costa Pacifica Hotel Baler, Aurora. Ang galing ng effects and make-up, maski yung sounds at yung mga manika/dummies na mukhang pasyente at bangkay.. talagang nakakabilib. Ang movie of the night nung gabing yun ay Conjuring 2.

Tawa ng tawa yung mga kasama ko habang dinadayo namin ang bawat area sa haunted hospital. May nakaiwan ng tsinelas, may napatalon, napasigaw, napahalakhak sa kaba. Syempre dun sa ospital na yun, may Emergency Room, Operating Room, ICU, Nursery, at Morgue.. Yun yung pagkakaalala ko. Subalit, hindi ko sure kung kasama yung Delivery room sa napuntahan namin.

Para sa akin, mas nakakatakot sa Delivery room. Seryoso. Promise.

Talk back and your dead

Have you already watched this movie by Nadine Lustre and James Reid, released last August 2014?

This is about a not so cliche love story of two children who promised to marry each other one day. Years after they met, Samantha fell in love with a hot headed guy named Top, a leader of the delinquent gang called lucky 13. But in the fare clutch of circumstance, Samantha’s former best friend Audrey also fell in love with Top. And that is where the connivance of the plot unfold.. Top’s enemies from another gang mistakenly thought Audrey was Samantha, so they captured Audrey to lure Top for revenge. But it was not the real Samantha.. However, Top still rescued Audrey, the sister of one of the members of Top’s lucky 13 gang named Red, his best friend.

Eventually, Samantha and Top went from civil to a serious relationship. However, since Samantha came from a wealthy family, she was asked to marry for the benefit of their business to expand. It was an arranged marriage. She was asked to marry her former best friend’s brother called Red. But Samantha reluctantly refused her parents’ offer since she’s in love with Top.

Upon hearing this news, Top was disheartened. He went away in a secluded resort with Samantha, but Red came over to fetch Samantha because she was asked to travel abroad if she will not obey her parents. She was asked to study abroad with Red. She left the resort with Red via a helicopter, while the lucky 13 gang restrained the crying Top because Samantha left her.

Rumors circulated that Top became blind, thus only sensitive to sounds and touch. I am just not sure how that happened. Did he had a complication of Diabetes? I don’t know and I am not sure, because it was not told in the story. There are many factors that can be considered how a normal person with a normal vision can lose their sight.

But, years after Samantha left the country, they met again, where she came back for Top at the resort where she left him. The movie ended in a resort where Top was.. Samantha came and went to hug Top beside the beach.

My thoughts about this movie is more concerned about arranged marriages and losing the 2020 vision. I myself believe in true love and romance, but I have lost enthusiasm with marriage after some collusion that I experienced in the past. I believe that the saddest thing that could ever happen to you is to be married to someone you don’t even love. It’s like being chained to a person you hate the most. But in regards to a 2020 vision, I’ve heard that normal people with a perfectly designed eyesight becomes blind after being in love. Is this true? They say, when you’re in love, you can’t hear clearly, you can’t speak clearly and you can’t see clearly. What is wrong with you people? Is love a sickness?

Wondering what happened in 2016

I noticed my archives had no entry for 2016. What have I done during that year… Hmm..

Basta ang alam ko, nag-medschool ako ng 2014, then took a leave of absence before the year ended.. consulted a Neurologist/Psychiatrist. Then, I enrolled for a painting class with Teacher Myra Asturias by 1st quarter of 2015.

Tapos, hindi ko na talaga maalala ng malinaw yung mga ganap sa buhay ko sa taon na to. hahaha. #laterpost