#TheSW30 Day 6: Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”

Day-6

I am on day 6 already of the single woman’s 30 day blogging challenge: Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”

Love life as defined by Merriam Webster is about a person’s romantic and sexual activities and relationships. While life is defined as the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death; love is more complex.

I remembered a person whom I have met in the year 2014; I will hide him by the name San Pedro. He once answered a question about “What is love?” His answer was, “Salamat sa mga comments. I will do consider doing some of it. I received one question though (and as promised, his identity will not be revealed):

Question: “What is love?”

San Pedro: Love does not exist in Mathematics. In Physiology, love is an abstract concept with contradicting findings in scientific literature. As I have told you, concepts with mathematical proof is a step in becoming a scientific truth. So if love exists… You be the judge… Math and Physiology-wise, they don’t… (Though, I’m not an expert in this topic!).

There are many comments that came along after he posted the question.

A. Nora: Hahaha.. natatawa po ako dito.:))

B. Pacifi: Love is the readiness to get hurt! Ha ha ha! #hugotnohugot

C. Nora: Haha..i-CPC na yan doc Coco. #Hugotpamore. Love is food and love is med.:))

D. Renzo: Sino naman nagtanung nun? anyways..wala po talaga love sa math..kaya hirap na hirap po ang students hanapin ang value ng x eh..kasi walang value ang mga x eh..#hugot

E. Andre: This is a major call for a global conference since it’s pandemic.

F. PLM: (Laughing emoji repeated three times)

G. Jaia: Hindi matanggap ni Manci, na walang value ang X. #Akala mo lang wala, pero meron, meron! HAHAHA.- C. Elefante

H. PLM: ^ hahaha

I. Nora: Basta usapang ganito, mabilis magreact ang tao. Hahaha.. Yan tayo eh.:)) #WhoGoatPls

In as much as I was entertained by the answers to the query, it is true enough that love is an abstract thing, can be existing in thought or as an idea but not having a physical or concrete existence; but sex is concrete. They say, abstract love is better than no love at all. It is so complex yet a wonderful intricate in a person’s heart. They say that the ancient Greeks used seven words to define the different states of love. These are the following:

Storge: natural affection, the love you share with your family.

Philia: the love that you have for friends.

Eros: sexual and erotic desire kind of love (positive or negative)

Agape: this is the unconditional love, or divine love

Ludus: this is playful love, like childish love or flirting.

Pragma: long standing love. The love in a married couple.

Philautia: the love of the self (negative or positive)

These are seven different kind of feelings: Storge, Philia, Eros, Agape, Ludus, Pragma and Philautia. In this life, people feel different emotions for different situations and individuals, as depicted from Hufftington post by Adrian Catron’s What is love? A Philosophy of life.

Well, to mark it off.. I believe that love exists. In tennis as a sport, love exists even if it is zero. Though one theory claims the term is a corruption of the French l’oeuf (“the egg”) to describe the shape of the number zero, the Oxford English Dictionary suggests that love really does mean “love.” The only thing keeping a scoreless player on the court is the love of the game.
To answer the question that every woman has the exact love life she wants, I disagree with the given statement. Love is an involvement of more than one person. If mathematically calculated, it is equivalent to one plus one plus plus one equals three (1+1+1=3), which is really equivalent to one (1, if God is added, as what I’ve learned from Janetteikz, a poet who wrote the P4CM’s I will wait for you. If romantically speaking, love I believe is a synergy of two beings. One male and one female plus God. I believe in heterosexuality, that a man is born for a woman under God’s covering.

It is not just for a woman to decide alone in a relationship, because the male or the man should be the leader. No woman wants to be in a relationship with a man whom she can push over all around or a man she does not respect. She wants to be led. It is because leadership in love is a necessity. Love is pivotal in a family, which they will both build in the future, which is portrayed like an umbrella covering a smaller umbrella and another smaller umbrella. It is to be decided that the male should be the leader covering his wife, not the other way around. That is why, males should be covered by God’s grace in order for him to do this. It entails a supernatural power to be able to give love with no fear and no pretensions and no selfish reasons.

God, I believe is not killjoy when it comes to relationships. He knows what each of us wants and He knows what each of us needs. But then, I admire men who can lead their wives despite them facing the art of war in love, even though God gave us the freewill to decide whom to have a relationship with and whom to marry. God gave us the gift of freewill, the freedom to choose between good or evil. Now, to which side do you belong?

#TheSW30 Day 5: The biggest misconception you think people have about single life

Day-5I’m on day 5 already of the single woman’s 30 day blogging challenge: The biggest misconception you think people have about single life.

Misconception is an erroneous notion or a view or opinion that is incorrect because it is based on faulty thinking or understanding.

I think the misconception most people have about the single life is that… Most singles are single because they are selfish. Most people believe that singles who refrain from being in a relationship means that they don’t want to be in a relationship because they don’t want to have more obligations in life, if they are the breadwinner of the family.

As a single person, I guess most singles are single because they are afraid of trying to meet new people who can replace their old loved ones who broke up with them.  They are so attached to the past where in fact, they should be moving on and letting go. They are afraid of making mistakes, because most of these people are perfectionists, I guess. They are afraid of not being able to reach the standard that most people have expected of them, where in fact, those are just purely made up in their feeble minds, particularly if these “singles” are achievers in their school and respective professions.

These bachelors, in my opinion are unmarried because they fear commitment and they are cowards. They know a lot about knowledge per se about so many things in life but they actually don’t know everything. It’s funny to say that too much knowledge can become a disadvantage because it can be a breeding ground of folly. Most especially if the person has so much pride that going down from his or her pedestal hurts. It’s just like climbing a mountain, it’s so difficult to climb a mountain because I have experienced it myself since I’m stout and particularly if you have a heavy baggage with you. There are assaults along the way. But just imagine once you reach the top. It feels surreal and so heartwarming. Your lungs gasp for air as it burns deep inside as you inhale and exhale, and the wind is just amazing. There is no pollution. However, climbing is just easy. The most difficult part is going down from the top. The steep side of the mountain is the clincher round adding up to that are the small rocks that may cause you to slide down and might cause a foot injury.

This is the danger of knowing so much about so many things.. it leads you to the top. But, will you be ready to step down once you reach the top, where you found your accolades and praises?

Wonder by Stephen Chbosky (2017)

When I was on my trip back to Manila, from Calapan a few weeks ago. I rode the Supercat by ‘To Go Travel’. The movie that was played on that day was “Wonder” directed by Stephen Chbosky, based from the book of the same name by RJ Palacio.

This story is about a ten-year-old boy, named August Pullman suffering from severe birth defects, including mandibulo-facial dysostosis and a cleft palate, which have left him vulnerable to other people’s perception of him and low self esteem. His parents then decided to enroll him at Beecher Prep after years of homeschooling him.

Mandibulo-facial dysostosis, also known as Treacher Collins Syndrome is a rare disease characterized by underdeveloped facial bones and a very small lower jaw and chin, called Micrognathia; based from UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital.

While the Cleft Palate is a birth defect that results when the roof of the mouth, called the palate fails to form completely during early fetal development. This causes a gap, called a cleft, in the palate. Babies with a cleft palate usually must be bottle fed, with breast milk or formula, using special nipples. Surgery to repair the cleft is performed of about 10 months of age or when the child begins to make sounds of speech. Most children will also need orthodontic treatment with braces during early adolescence as based from University of California.

This child named August was the youngest son of Mr and Mrs Pullman. He also had a sister named Via and a dog named Daisy. When he entered the Prep school, he obviously experienced bullying and he was being stared at by most of his peers, due to his deformity. But since he was home schooled by his mom, he had an edge with the science subject. He loves Star wars, and he also had this astronaut like helmet to hide his face every time he wants whenever his outside the house or inside his home, but not inside the school premises. But what I love about him is that he loves Halloween more than Christmas, because that’s where he can be himself by wearing costumes during the trick or treat. Moreover, he later on discovered his true friends who supported him in his school.

All kids have fears. But some kids worry a lot more than others. It’s always painful to watch a child suffer from anxiety, but it’s especially difficult if you’re not sure whether he’s worrying too much or might need help. The difference between normal worry and an anxiety disorder is severity. Although feeling anxious is a natural reaction to a stressful or dangerous situation, a child may need help if his anxiety is out of proportion, if it persists or if it interferes with his life and development.

For a 10 year old kid, his fears are mostly the following: fear of throwing up at school, fear of being rejected by his peers, fear of school failure, fear of sickness, fear of being home alone, fear of bad guys and ghosts and fear of dying.

 

 

Bulaklak na araw

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Mahal kong bulaklak na araw, sa paglipas ng init at ulan.
Patuloy kang lumalago at namumukadkad.
Gumaganda at nabibighani ang mga bubuyog sa iyong puring kaakit-akit.
Wag mong limutin, na ako’y isang kaibigang nagmamahal sayo.

Nang minsan sa hiram na buhay natin, tayo’y nagkasama;
Kahit na ako’y pataba lamang sa lupang iyong tinubuan.
Katabi ng mga uod at putik; kasakangkapan, sa iyong pamumukadkad.
Masaya ako na paunti-unti ay nagkakaroon ka ng saysay sa mundong ito.

Hindi man ako kagandahan, at madumi man sa tingin ng nakararami;
Sana’y malaman mo, na nandito pa rin ako, sayo’y nakaagapay.
At kung ikaw man ay pitasin at kunin ng mga kamay ng Prinsipeng araw;
Kahit ako’y iyong nilisan, magiging masaya ako para sa inyo.

At sa paglipas ng panahon. Kung ikaw man ay mangulubot.
Mawalan ng magandang kulay, at biglang manuyo;
Wag mong limutin, na ako’y nakaabang lamang sa mga binhi,
Na itatanim at didiligan ng isang masipag na palad.

Hihintayin ko muli ang iyong pag-laki at pag-lago.
Wag mangamba. Wag malungkot. Ika’y mamumukadkad muli.
Pagmamasdan ng mga bubuyog, ng prinsipeng araw at tagatanim,
ang iyong magagandang alulot na tila’y sumasayaw sa ihip ng hangin.

– Mangarap (Jaenara Bitao)

Mahal kong kaibigan

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Nabighani mo ako sayong kagandahan.
Nabiyayaan ka. Gusto ka ng mga magulang niya.
Gusto mo siya. At malamang sa malamang gusto ka na rin niya.
In denial lang siya. Baka hindi mo alam.

Hindi ka nagsasalita masyado. Mapili ka sa mga kaibigan.
Maraming nagmamahal sayo. Kahit na hindi ka naging honor student.
Mahinhin ka. Marunong mag-bake. May green thumb.
Lahat ng itinatanim mong bulaklak, lumalago.

Kahit na hindi ka ganun katangkad. Marunong kang magtimpi sa mga saloobin. Lagi kang nag-jojournal. Nagdadasal.
Laking simbahan ka. Mahal ka ng mga kamag-anak niya.

Hindi ko na sana sinabi ang saloobin ko sa Prinsipe. Eh di sana, pinapansin mo pa rin ako. Magkaibigan pa sana tayo. Tandaan mo na, minsan sa buhay nating dalawa. Tayo ay nagkasama. Tinuruan mo pa nga ako ng tennis. Diba?

Hindi ako nakikipagtunggali sa kakayahan mo, dahil alam kong sa simula pa lamang, talo na agad ako sa pag-asam ng kung anong kagandahan meron ka. Inalagaan mo ang iyong puri. At alam kong, hinihintay mo siya. Sa kanyang paguwi.

Alam ko na gusto mo siya o baka mas higit pa doon ang nararamdaman mo. Mahal mo na ba siya? Sasabihin ko sayo, na malamang ay gusto ka na rin niya. Mis kita mahal kong kaibigan. Wag mo sana akong kalimutan, na minsan tayo ay naging tunay na magkaibigan.

  • Mangarap (Jaenara Bitao)

Big it up

I just want to say that I’m inspired after reading some articles from Cosmopolitan magazine, issued last April 2015.

I like Cosmo’s interview with Anne Curtis, a Filipina-Aussie actress and host in the Philippines, on“Anne is 30: life lessons from the babe who has it all.” I definitely have not reached the 30 age yet, but hopefully soon I will be. Some tidbits that I learned from her are the following:

  1. The truth hurts and lies, worse.
  2. “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling um, 30”
  3. The rest is still unwritten. Since, a lot of women now are focused in their careers, achievements, and wants; and for her that’s a great thing.
  4. Not gonna stop, I’m gonna work harder. “How can I grow if I don’t try something I’ve never done before?”, She added.
  5. She never really cared…what other people’s bashes on her voice and singing. She’s actually enjoying its novelty and fun and that it’s not something to be taken seriously.
  6. Let it go, let it go. Even if her Dyesebel teleserye didn’t last for half a year. She’s letting it go.
  7. She says, “You don’t have to feel like a wasted space”. She’s promoting early childhood care and development with UNICEF at Typhoon Yolanda hitted areas in Leyte.
  8. You’ll get by with a smile.
  9. If you got beauty, beauty, just raise ’em up.
  10. Lean on me. She pertains with her family and boyfriend. She said that it’s refreshing to have something that’s private that she can call hers.

“When you love what you do, you accept what comes with the territory.” – Anne Curtis.

I’m amused to have learned something from today’s read. Adding up to that is “Big it up: Time to kick ass with some healthy self-expectations!”

The article had boosted me after reading it. I discovered that it’s important to embrace ourselves particularly our flaws, but in terms of life goals, it’s necessary not to risk complacency by sinking into a comfort zone. True happiness rests on taking the talent we are born with and the knowledge and skills we’ve acquired by using them fully for a purpose that makes us feel worthwhile by our own internal standards, and that the key to that is self-expectation, says behavioral scientist and author of The winner’s edge, Denis Waitley. “There never was a winner who didn’t expect to win in advance”, He added. By expecting to have a good day, a raise, a parking space, and a good relationship, you usually get them.

The science behind this is the chemical endorphin which our bodies produce that reduces unpleasant stimuli and promotes feelings of well being. Based from research, expectations shape endorphins. “What you ask for, is what you get”, says Nia Maritz, M.D. It’s important to stop saying ” I can’t do X” or “I suck at Y”. You need to expect more of yourself and life – and you’ll make it happen. To reach new heights, we need to push ourselves often. ” If you don’t, how will you know how far you can go?” asks Craig Jarrow, author of You are stronger than you think.

These steps can help:

  1. Recognize that you are disappointing yourself.
  2. Be clear of what you expect of yourself in each area of your life – work, relationships, creativity, health, fitness. Write it down.
  3. Decide on your most important expectation. By daring yourself to do something new or extra.
  4. Use the satisfaction and endorphin rush you get from accomplishing each step to power the next one, building confidence and having a blast along the way. “Finding excitement and what you love is in the discovery of accomplishing a task,” says Maritz. “You may not enjoy all of it – but focusing on the parts you do enjoy will bring insight.”
  5. When you trip, which you will, remember that tripping is just lesson in disguise, she says. Use it to make you stronger, and push on with a smile. Smiles will help you feel better and draw others to you, helping you progress.
  6. Use positive self talk – “I CAN DO THIS”, “I WILL SUCCEED” – and visualization. See yourself fulfilling your expectations, says Maritz. “As Henry Ford said, whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” With belief in yourself you can achieve things that astonish you, as you continue to stretch your boundaries.

But more importantly, we must keep it real!

The article says that there’s a difference between giving yourself a healthy nudge and pushing yourself to the point of breakdown.

Do your friends think your expectations are realistic? Do you balk at asking for outside help or advice? Do you wake up each morning worrying that you won’t achieve all you have set yourself? Do you feel unhappy and unfulfilled? When this happens, we might be expecting too much from our job, relationship, or whatever we’re working on. It’s time to re-evaluate our true interests and passions are, says Rhonda Britten, author of Fearless Living. “People who are pursuing their dreams, interests, and passions are happier than those who are not.”

I have to say, I am overweight, almost 72kilos to be exact. And I’d like to take this challenge of watching my weight and burning my fat deposits for good starting tomorrow. I know I kept on saying this, but there’s no enough action. Right now, I’m giving it a try again. 👊🏊🏃💪

Gratitude

I’m thankful for life, family and friends.

Thankful for the good things in life
and thankful even for the bad. because everything in this life is a gift.

I don’t understand it all, but I’m thankful… I cannot change my circumstances, but I can change my attitude to gratitude.